Man this is killing me not to be able to make an exclamation point.
Anyways, this week has been a tougher one on the mission. Last monday
was probably the hardest day of my mission thus far. Have I told you
about our neighbor man? He is really cool but really opinionated and
I am still as stubborn and strong willed as he is. Or at least I was
last Monday. We had a blast playing soccer/basketball with our
district last monday and when we were on the train to go home, we
noticed that "neighborman" had called about 3 hours earlier. We sent
him a text because figured that he was just at work on Lunch break
when he called and we didnt want to disturb him at work. Well, we got
home and didnt hear from him. He then came and knocked on our front
door and we asked why he had called earlier and he said it was a test
to see if we were true to our word as in that he could call us
anytime. Well, we failed his little "test" but I wasnt really
bothered. I thought it was stupid. So we told him that we had an
appointment and that we would be back later and we can talk some more.
So after we had FHE with our ward mission leader we headed back to
talk to Neighborman. We talked for nearly two hours. He was mad about
something and I wasnt sure what. He didnt like that I was really
serious when I talked about the Gospel and he said and did some other
things that made my blood boil a little. And Sr Phillips even got mad
and she NEVER gets mad... I truly felt like Christ at times during the
conversation where I would try to teach a gospel principle and he
would interupt and change topics and tell us that we dont know
anything and that all religions are the same. He spoke to us as if he
thought he knew everything about us and that we knew nothing about
what it meant to live a hard life. That was probably the hardest thing
for me to hear. My life hasnt been as bad as his I am sure, but he
knows absolutely nothing about my past. Things that I had to struggle
with. People I've lost. Friends that have betrayed me. He knew nothing
yet he told me all about his life and how hard it is and how it is
more important to be happy than anything. There came a point that I
just stopped talking and stood there in wonder as to why he was the
way he was? At that point in the conversation he started making fun of
me for looking tired and told me to stop drinking so much and to get
some sleep. I know he was just joking but still, I was just astounded
as to how he could act the way he did. He then put a rolled up news
paper in my face and said something that I cant remember. I grabbed
the paper and pushed it calmly out of my face but he again put it in
my face. That is the point that Sister Phillips was about to deck him
in the face. After that, I said he was right I need to go get some
sleep. Sister Phillips prayed and we went back up to our apartment. I
walked in and collapsed by my bed and sobbed. I felt the love the Lord
has for Neighborman so powerfully and yet he still denied everything I
said. I felt the heartache the Lord feels when he sees one of his
children reject his beautiful perfect plan, and refuse to change and
grow. I have never felt such a great desire for the salvation of men
as I did that evening. I know now exactly how the prophets in the Book
of Mormon felt when they wept for their brethern who didnt know the
gospel or who just denied it and rebelled openly against them. I
learned so much in these two hours. I wish I could tell you all that I
learned. But I think the thing that I learned the most is how to love.
I LOVE these people. Now I just need to learn how to show it.
The week was pretty slow after that. We had a few appointments but
mostly we were going by former investigators or potential
investigators. We had no luck. It may be because I kinda sort of
prayed for more humility. Whoops. But I have learned a lot about
myself and that I cant do this work alone. I love my mission. I love
my companion. The Lord definately knows what he is doing. I love the
gospel more than words can express and I cant deny the power of God
and the power of the Atonement and this gospel. On Saturday, we went
out to dinner with Neighborman because he doesnt want to meet at a
members home and we cant meet with his in his apartment so we went to
a pizzeria and he told us about a lot of things. Probably one of the
funniest days of my mission. He told us about how you cant just go and
talk to someone about the gospel. You have to show your love first and
then they will feel that love and be more open to the gospel. He has a
point, but missionaries have superpowers that he doesnt even know
about. That may be how he will come to the gospel is just by us
showing him the love of Christ and then he'll be more open about
talking about Christ. But I know that there are several other children
that are just waiting for the gospel, looking for a hole that needs to
be filled and will do anything to be happy in this life. TRULY HAPPY.
This really is a wonderful life. Something that is so short. I am
doing all I can to give my all and find the lost sheep I promised the
Lord before I came to this earth that I would find.
There is a song called, "Fire of God" by Kenneth Cope and it has
become one of my favorites. It expresses exactly how I feel. Well the
first verse and chorus. I'll get to the other verses later. But I have
had too many miracles happen in my life to deny that this IS the
Lord's church. Another song that really struck me this week was one
that the young men sang yesterday at church. It's called, "I'll Find
You My Friend". Look that one up too. Ahh, they are just sooo good.
They make me feel excited to be a missionary.
On a happier more uplifting note, I want you to STOP reading this
right now and go to YouTube and type in "Tribute to Relief Society" by
Alex Boye. Right now.... Go..... I am not going to start typing
anymore until you listen to it.........
.....
..............
......
Okay so I obviously cant wait forever, but this song is HILARIOUS. We
heard it at an Relief Society activity earlier this week and I about
jumped to the moon because it was so awesome. I love relief society.
This last week we had an activity where it was a film night where you
had to have your ticket and they tore your ticket just like at the
theaters, they had posters of other movies all around the church
house, they had a snack stand, previews, and everything. I really want
to do this when I go home. It is so cool. We stayed for the previews
because they were mostly mormon ads and stuff and then this song. It
was really cool.
Yesterday on our way to church, we were getting ready to walk out the
door and Sister Phillips prayed. I dont remember much about her prayed
except that she asked for an opportunity to participate at church. I
was a little worried at first but then didnt think anything of it.
Well, while we were greeting everyone in the foyer, the sunday school
president asked us if we could give a 5 min overview of the Plan of
Salvation. I hestitated slightly but said that we could do it. I was
way nervous but Sister Phillips kept her cool. (Really weird because
usually its the other way around...) We got up and taught about the
plan of salvation and bore powerful testimony. Sister Phillips told me
after church that the parents of some very active members were NOT
members of the church. It was awesome. I absolutely love Sister
Phillips and seeing her working through the spirit. She is truly such
an amazing example to me.
Bis Nächste Mal,
Sister Fokken
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